Sunday, May 23, 2010


I am about to break down. I am tired of living in a run down house with no water, falling in floors, and tremendous amounts of work to be done. When we decided to move in here we though that the fixing up process would at least be started by now. Its hard to raise a family in a house like this. I just want a clean and semi nice place to live. I am having mixed feelings of whether I want them to fix the house up or not anyway. If they do we will be tied to this house for 20 yrs. That means we can't move or anything.

I am tired of living in a small town with nothing to do. There is nothing for the kids. I want to live where there are play dates and activities. I want to live in a place where there is work and opportunity for improvement. Here there is nothing. Chalrie already works for about the best paying job in his field. Really in town, besides the few factories that are still open.

I am tired of having no privacy. I love my mom and little sister, but I am tired of living with them. I want to have a place of my own. I want to be able to do stuff when I want and what I want, without having to report in. In the 4 yrs Charlie and I have been married, we have lived with parents about 3 of them.

I am tired of being late every month and every test coming out negative. I either want to be on time or pregnant. The disappointment every time I take a test is getting to me. I have mixed feeling about everything now though. I don't really want to bring a baby home to this house, but I am ready for another one and no telling how long this house project is going to take.

I am just ready for something to break through. Everything is getting to me at once. I look around at everything and its like we aren't getting anywhere with anything.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Jobs, House, and other stuff

I have a few "jobs" now. Nothing big. Just something to make a little extra cash. I am now maintainign my mother in-laws Etsy shop. You should check it out. BlingStuff is all hand made jewelry.

We got some news on the fixing up of our house. Nothing to get excited about. All they told us is that they are out of money and wont be able to do anything again until after June. I guess that is not too far off, but I hope they do something soon. I still have mixed feeling of whether I would like it to be fixed or torn down and a new one built.

So in my last post I said we were going to go visit my friend Amber in June. Well that has changed. Its seems something comes up everytime we try to plan to see her. Charlie's boss wouldn't let him take his vacation time, so we are now going to try to go up there the middle of July. I really hope it works out. I need to get away for a while and I think she could use the visit also.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Ready for a change

I am so ready for a change. Trying to get my mom a place keeps running into dead ends. I dont know where to go next. We have got to have a house to ourselves though. If not, I'm afraid it will wind up causing major strains on our family. We have no privacy or alone time. Hopefully we can figure out something soon.

We have been busy with the house and things. Mowing the yard is a full days work alone. Plus we are trying to get it looking better around here. We still haven't heard anything back from the Indians. I am starting to get annoyed. I will be calling tomorrow. I need to know something.

This weekend was fun. I had a pretty good Mother's Day. Saturday we drove to Springfield, MO to goof around and take my mom out to dinner. It wound up being prom there and very busy. Sunday we went to Charlie's grandmothers and hung out for a while with his mom and brothers. Then we went to Tulsa and had dinner out. It was a good day. Would have been even better if the kids would have minded any at all.

How about an update on all of us....
Amelia is doing good. She is getting so big, too fast. She is talking some now. Nothing much yet. Her new favorite thing to do is make a squishy face. She thinks that is hilarious. Elijah is talking more and more. He surprises me sometimes. We got him a swimming pool and he is pretty excited about that. Charlie had a heart monitor put on the other day. We will know some more about the results next month. I hope they find out what has been going on the last 4 yrs. As for me, I wish that my body would decide to work right. It has been 10 months of being late and not knowing what is going on. This month has been the worst. It feels like someone is stabbing me in the stomach and back every time I sit up. I have been checked for cyst and all was good. I think I am going to go back though. I just feel something is wrong.

Oh by the way! We are trying to go meet Amber again. I really hope it works out this time. We are supposed to go the end of next month. I can't wait!